In the early stages of researching Want, a book about women’s sexual fantasies, Gillian Anderson was shocked by the prevalence of shame. The book, a c
In the early stages of researching Want, a book about women’s sexual fantasies, Gillian Anderson was shocked by the prevalence of shame. The book, a compilation of anonymous letters by women sharing their sexual fantasies, shows that many women still need permission to voice their desires – not just in public, but even in their private worlds.
To her amazement, Anderson, 56, discovered she wasn’t immune to this inhibition. When asked to submit her own fantasy, she says, “I kept putting it off and putting it off. I’m not a prude by any stretch, and I can say any words out loud. But writing it down? I got really uncomfortable.”
Anderson is on a few days’ break from filming a western in Canada, a gig for which she is simultaneously grateful – “I’m so fucking lucky” – and also finds herself energetically resenting. “There’s a part of me, when I’m up on the horse, that thinks, fucking hell, I can’t believe I’m having to do all this, with the rain and the wind and all of that.”
Anderson has very much entered what she calls the “fuck it, succeed or fail I’m going to have fun” years of her life, and we are all the better off for it. Hence the curation of Want, a whimsical piece of casting by the book’s publishers, inspired by her role as Jean Milburn, a sex therapist in the hit four-season Netflix show Sex Education.
The project required her to wade through thousands of sex fantasies submitted anonymously online. It is hard to imagine a modern version having the power of the original book, which, as anyone who got their hands on a copy when they were slightly too young will know, left certain indelible images.
There is a lot of humour, deliberate or otherwise: “I have a recurring sexual fantasy about a dentist. It specifically involves the dentist chair and being tied down. I don’t know what it means and I’d probably be super-upset if my actual dentist tried to fuck me but… ” And then there is Anderson, in essay form at the top of each chapter, gamely and cheerfully offering interpretation and encouragement.
Anderson’s celebrity, and the book’s invitation to address submissions to “Dear Gillian”, tips the scale in some fundamental way? “Possibly,” Anderson says warily. “I’m not sure I got the sense that it was inhibiting anybody.”
Anderson hopes people are entertained and moved by the book. She hopes it brings joy, and laughter. And understanding. And self-acceptance. She wants people to feel like they can own their own fantasies, and not be ashamed of them.
What I find fascinating about all this is that while Friday was a cranky magazine journalist with no public profile, Gillian Anderson is not only a famous actor, but a famous sex symbol for the 30 years since her role as Dana Scully in The X-Files.
There is no question, she says, that in the decade or so between having her daughter and her sons, she grew in confidence, a fact she ascribes, in part, to the impact of a single role. By the early 2010s, when the script for The Fall came around, Anderson was feeling gloomy about the options available to her.
She didn’t think, at the time, she was interested in doing another series after being in The X-Files for 11 seasons, and in the first instance refused to meet the writers and producers for The Fall. “I was told it was written with me in mind,” she says. But once she did sit down with Allan Cubitt’s pilot, a taut, hour-long drama about DS Stella Gibson, a steely cop in Belfast chasing a serial killer, she did an immediate about-face.
The experience of playing Stella Gibson over a three-series arc, with Jamie Dornan as the killer with whom – like Javert in Les Misérables – she had a weird, charged relationship, changed Anderson. Gibson was written as a woman with frank sexual appetites, for both men and women, and Anderson found the experience of playing her so liberating it spilled over into her life.
It’s good for my boys, and for other women to see that I’m adding things to my life right at the point when some people think I should be subtracting. Anderson launched a soft drinks brand called G Spot last year (“natural, low calorie and with no added sugar”), that grew somewhat randomly out of the wellness conversations she was invited to join after playing Milburn in Sex Education.
To embrace these opportunities, she has, at times, had to push against her own nature. Her first instinct in life is often to “sit down, indoors, in a dark room”, so becoming an entrepreneur has been largely a question of “not running away”.
Particularly at a certain age, particularly now for some reason, there are more and more women who are saying, “Fuck it, even though I’m 60, I’m going to start something new.” A new business, a new relationship, a new venture. Just throwing everything to the wind. I don’t know if it’s going to succeed or fail, but I’m having fun, and the narrative that we’re building around it, and the encouragement other women are feeling as a result of seeing it, is – embrace it! Don’t run away; run towards it!
Anderson hopes it will help other women to articulate “their wants and needs”, and encourage them to be “as honest as they can be”, although I should say that in Anderson’s endearing awkwardness about her own contribution to the book, she has never seemed more British.
Given how easily she can move between the US and UK, then, I ask: if she had to pick a team, which would it be? “It feels like my cells are American, and my soul is British,” she says. “So if you ask me to give up my American passport, I would say it doesn’t feel right, no. Absolutely not. I’m American. And if you asked me to leave living in the UK? I’d say this is where I’m most comfortable, understood, accepted. So fuck off.”
Conclusion:
Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous, collected by Gillian Anderson, is a book that encourages women to be honest about their desires, to not be ashamed of their fantasies, and to own their sexuality. It’s a book that will make you laugh, cry, and nod your head in recognition. Anderson hopes it will help other women to feel empowered and to embrace their sexuality.
FAQs:
Q: What inspired you to write this book?
A: I was shocked by the prevalence of shame in the letters and I wanted to create a space where women could feel comfortable sharing their desires and fantasies without fear of judgment.
Q: Why did you decide to include your own essay in the book?
A: I wanted to show that even famous women can struggle with shame and embarrassment around their sexuality. I hope my essay will help readers feel more comfortable and confident in sharing their own desires and fantasies.
Q: What do you hope readers will take away from this book?
A: I hope readers will feel empowered and confident in their own sexuality. I hope they will learn to embrace their desires and fantasies and not be ashamed of them.
Q: Will you be touring to promote the book?
A: Yes, I will be doing a book tour to promote the book and talk about the importance of sexuality and consent.
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