‘I made the film to understand my mother. And try to understand what happened before me,” says Fawzia Mirza of her wildly ambitious genre-hopping, tim
‘I made the film to understand my mother. And try to understand what happened before me,” says Fawzia Mirza of her wildly ambitious genre-hopping, time-traveling debut feature. The Queen of My Dreams took many years to direct, all because she was trying to reconcile being queer, being Muslim, and loving Bollywood romance, a combination she thought was impossible.
It all began in 2006, when Mirza was working as an actor in Chicago and coming out as queer. She started work on a video art piece that reflected on Bollywood classics through a queer perspective. A friend suggested they develop it into a short film, which became the beginning of her love affair with the film festival space.
“I found this community that I didn’t even know existed. My voice mattered. People were like, ‘We want to hear more queer Muslim stories.’ And I hadn’t gotten that validation or acceptance anywhere else yet,” Mirza says over a video call from her study in Los Angeles, where a busy bookshelf and the movie’s colourful poster are in view.
The film’s sprawling breath reflects Mirza’s intense personal investment in the project, and she had to hone its focus. “I had to ask myself, what is the non-negotiable in this story for me?” she says. “And it was [showing] 1969 Karachi, Pakistan, more than anything else.”
Tales of fraught homecomings are a common feature in films about second-generation immigrants. The Queen of My Dreams begins in this vein, before taking a surprising, delightful leap to Karachi in 1969, all vivid colour and shift dresses and Beatlemania. That timeline follows a young Mariam – also played by Kaur. Then there’s another time-and-space jump to rural Canada’s Nova Scotia in the 80s, where a young Azra and her parents try to fit into their predominantly white town to exquisitely awkward comic effect.
The film’s depiction of the fraught mother-daughter relationship made Kaur reflect on “not only how my mother treats me, but also how I treat my mother. And how we’re both equally culpable in behaving badly.” These are heavy themes, but the film manages to stay true to them while striking a tone of warmth and lightness.
That involved telling a more compassionate story of intergenerational love and forgiveness. Though Mirza began the project as a way to understand her mother, and why she had grown more conservative over time, she realised: “I don’t know why she changed. But she had a whole life before I was in her life. And her mother had a whole life before any of us were alive. And that opened a huge door of compassion.”
The film was partly shot in Karachi, a feat only achieved, Kaur tells me, after Mirza fought hard with insurance companies (international films set in Karachi are often shot elsewhere). “It was a dream of mine to film there,” Mirza says. “I landed at five in the morning, went to the hotel,” Kaur says dreamily, “and the first thing I asked for was a cup of chai. The chai there is just so different. It’s got a different smell … drinking it on the patio with the mosquitoes being invasive and you’re swatting them away …”
Kaur, who was born to Sikh parents who immigrated to Canada from India, says she faced “a lot of resistance” about going to Pakistan. Family members would read news in India, and tell her “this isn’t going to be safe, people are going to treat you in a different way”. It made her realise this is “exactly why I needed to go”. “India is becoming a Hindu nationalistic country,” she says, “and Pakistani hate in the news is so high.”
Mirza uses the word “life-changing” to describe her experience making the film. How so? “It was life-changing in the fact that I got to tell a story that I’ve been wanting to tell about mother, daughter, and DNA that connects us to the past, the present, and the future in this way. And life-changing in how the audiences have been receiving this film,” she says. “To hear people say that they were laughing and crying at the same time watching this, that is literally everything I want.”
Conclusion
The Queen of My Dreams is a film that celebrates our capacity to be many things at once, and Fawzia Mirza’s experience making it is a testament to the power of storytelling and self-discovery. With its unique blend of genres, timelines, and cultural influences, the film is a true reflection of Mirza’s identity and her desire to tell stories that are authentic and relatable.
FAQs
Q: What inspired Fawzia Mirza to make The Queen of My Dreams?
A: Mirza was trying to reconcile being queer, being Muslim, and loving Bollywood romance, a combination she thought was impossible.
Q: What is the story of The Queen of My Dreams about?
A: The film follows the story of a second-generation immigrant reuniting with her family in Karachi, Pakistan, and explores themes of identity, culture, and forgiveness.
Q: What was the most challenging part of making the film?
A: Mirza had to hone the focus of the story and deal with insurance companies to shoot parts of the film in Karachi, Pakistan.
Q: How did Amrit Kaur get involved in the project?
A: Kaur was cast in the film after Mirza saw her work and was impressed by her talent and versatility.
Q: What was Kaur’s experience like working on the film?
A: Kaur found the experience to be life-changing, and she was able to explore her own identity and cultural heritage through the film.
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