Finding Herself on the Edge

The Harsh Reality of True-Crime Filmmaking

As a true-crime filmmaker, Marciann Carr has seen and experienced the darker side of human nature. Her documentary projects on notorious figures such as Larry Nassar and the Menendez brothers have left her with a healthy dose of paranoia and a deeply ingrained sense of caution.

Challenges and Setbacks

For Carr, the line between curiosity and trauma is often blurred. "They have been so wounded by this process," she says of the families of those involved in her documentaries. "I will not speak for them, as they should." Carr has turned down projects about Scientology and NXIVM, citing the mental health toll that such projects can take.

The Psychological Toll

As a result of her work, Carr has developed a keen radar for spotting deception. "I have a really good bullshit detector," she says. "My life is about meeting people and reading them within five minutes, and that has given me enormous advantages to watch out for certain things."

However, this exposure to the darker aspects of human nature has taken a significant toll on her mental health. "I have nightmares about people killing me," she confesses. "I’m scared when I walk on the street alone." Her therapist has advised her to avoid watching true crime documentaries at night, but Carr often finds herself drawn to them, even if it means it disrupts her sleep.

Adjusting to a New Reality

After making a documentary about the USA gymnastics sexual abuse scandal, Carr found herself avoiding male doctors. Her experience filming in Texas’s South Padre Island, a spring break destination known for its party culture, was particularly distressing. "It was really, really boozy," she recalls. "I am nine years in recovery. So being that close to that amount of alcohol is always going to be disturbing for me."

The Reality of Being a True-Crime Filmmaker

Carr acknowledges the harsh realities of her profession. "Am I a really paranoid person? Yeah, I am. Am I scared when I walk on the street alone? Yeah, I am. Do I have nightmares about people killing me? A lot of the time, yes, I do." While some might view her experiences as a terrible trade-off, Carr shrugs off the concerns, admitting that her trusty dog with a loud bark serves as a deterrent against potential threats.

Conclusion

As a true-crime filmmaker, Marciann Carr has faced the darker aspects of human nature head-on. While her work has taken a toll on her mental health, she remains committed to her craft, always aware of the importance of setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing her well-being.

Frequently Asked Questions

• Has devoting her life to true crime made Carr less trustful of people?
  • "I have a really good bullshit detector," she says. "My life is about meeting people and reading them within five minutes, and that has given me enormous advantages to watch out for certain things."
• How has her work affected her mental health?
  • "I have nightmares about people killing me. I’m scared when I walk on the street alone."
• What advice would she give to others in her profession?
  • "Set healthy boundaries and prioritize your well-being."