The Department of Homeland Security might soon surf the current dystopian reality competition wave, if the man behind Duck Dynasty has anything to sa
The Department of Homeland Security might soon surf the current dystopian reality competition wave, if the man behind Duck Dynasty has anything to say about it. Canadia-born reality TV producer Rob Worsoff, who’s also worked on the dystopia-adjacent veneration of disordered exercise and eating known as The Biggest Loser and belief-in-romance quasher The Millionaire Matchmaker has asked DHS to participate in a show that will do nothing to soothe the worry that American life has turned into one huge reality TV hate watch for the rest of the world.
It’s also a presumable relief to those who think the latest tide of dramatic content depicting a horrific and inhumane near future is far too uplifting. The long-delayed film adaption of Stephen King‘s The Long Walk, for example, shows the doomed participants in the titular contest actually sharing snacks, a move incomprehensible in Donald Trump‘s anti-food-stamp (pandemic be damned!) America. What a pack of cucks!
Worsoff’s proposed series is a show where “immigrants compete to prove they are the most American,” The Wall Street Journal reports, citing a 36-page slide deck. On the series, participants will complete challenges such as “a gold rush competition where they are sent into a mine to retrieve the most gold” or will be “placed on an auto assembly line in Detroit to reassemble the chassis of a model T.”
The competition would be hosted by a “famous naturalized American,” with Sofia Vergara, Ryan Reynolds, or Mila Kunis presented as possibilities. They would announce the weekly loser of the show, who, Worsoff hastens to note, won’t face deportation (as if he can guarantee that). “This is not, ‘Hey, if you lose, we are shipping you out on a boat out of the country.'” (To be clear, none of these famous immigrants have announced any affiliation with the show, so please think of their inclusion in this pitch as one might the names on a marital hall pass.)
And what would the show’s winner go home with? Well, that’s less clear, with the slide deck offering anything from a $10,000 gift card to Starbucks, a lifetime supply of gas from 76 (formerly Union 76), or a citizenship ceremony on Capitol Hill. According to Worstoff, whatever happens, it won’t be “mean-spirited. Instead, ‘The American’ is a celebration of what it means to be… well… American – At a time when our morale is at an all-time low.”
It appears, however, that Worsoff also pitched the show when our morale was higher, as he told the WSJ that he also approached Barack Obama‘s and Joe Biden‘s administrations, but both declined. One can see, given the current presidency, how he might feel like the 2025 odds might be more in his favor. And this time around, Worsoff says, “feedback from DHS has been positive and he has already had preliminary discussions with networks” regarding the series.
But according to Department of Homeland Security assistant secretary for public affairs Tricia McLaughlin, Worsoff might be jumping the dystopian gun just a bit. Her agency “receives hundreds of television show pitches a year, ranging from documentaries surrounding ICE and CBP border operation to white collar investigations by HSI,” she said on X (formerly Twitter), in a post disputing a Daily Mail report claiming that Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem was “pushing for” the series.
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